Young Hooker Shows Skill With Legs

In another wind assisted race, 23 year old MARSHEVET HOOKER took first place in the women's 100 meter Olympic tryouts, showing that she...

Now wait a minute- you didn't think I meant... Could you guys get your mind out of the gutter? Sheez.

Gay Man Gets Aids from Push in Backside

What? Oh. You should be ashamed of yourself!

I was talking about how TYSON GAY would have set a new world record in the 100 meter dash, if it weren't for his being aided by a tailwind more than double the allowable speed for record setting.

You people. Always expecting the worst from me.

Mega Cubes

Finally!!! After 3 years of waiting since Mr. Verdes announced that he found a way to mass produce them, the 6x6x6 and 7x7x7 cubes are out for sale! You may not share in my excitement, but to make the 7x was quite a feat of engineering.

In order to show the solution complexity of these cubes, take a look at the number of permutations (the number of possible ways to mix-up the cube, and therefore the number of possible solutions). Making some assumptions about the symmetricality of the pieces of the puzzle, I'm pretty confident that I correctly calculate the number of possible permutations as:

8! x 3⁷ x 24!⁴ x 48!³ x 12! x 2¹⁰ = 2.14 x 10²³⁷
4!²⁴ x 8!⁶

To put the size of this number into perspective, it's generally accepted that there are 'only' an estimated 4 x 10⁸¹ atoms in the entire universe. That's more than a tripleplex order of magnitude. Wow. Can you feel the excitement? Or, in another fantastically incomprehensible comparison between two ridiculously large numbers, our big number is within 1000 times of A SHANNON NUMBER of Shannon Numbers. (1 x 10²⁴⁰). Ha. Chess has got nothing on this big momma of cubes. Bear in mind that the original 3x3x3 Rubik's cube (that you nevertheless still peeled the stickers off of), has only a puny 4.3 x 10¹⁹ possible permutations. Pshaw. A THREE YEAR OLD can solve that one, and teenagers can solve it in LESS THAN 10 SECONDS. That's no competition for the 7x7x7.

And because I just know you're still with me, and so eager for more gratuitous quantifying, I'll go on.

So, there are two hundred fourteen septseptuagintillion possible ways to the mix up the 7x7x7. This is written out as:
214,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

And the whole point is to find the one correct solution.

Incidentally, if anyone feels so inclined to chip in, I would really, really like one of each, but my wife would kill me if I spent $80 on another cube. But, if you'd like something in return other than a daily dose of punishing complaints on your nth favorite blog, I'd be willing to trade: would you be interested in my drawing a PORTRAIT of you or your kid in exchange for a cube? That's a pretty good deal for a rubik's cube... (Does that sound desperate enough?)

That Doctor's Name Sounds Familiar

Dr. Philip Nitschke, an euthanasia provider in Australia, IS ADVISING ANYONE who believes they might have Alzheimer's to avoid being diagnosed. His argument runs something like: 'Surely you don't want to suffer from Alzheimer's. Before you start suffering, kill yourself. But to keep those who assist you (that'd be me) from being prosecuted, we need you to do it before there's any evidence that might convict us. Thanks for your help, and we hope your next existence is more enjoyable.' But in his own words:

"Don't go to your doctor. Don't have the tests done. And if you do have the tests done that show that you're starting to lose mental capacity, make sure it is not recorded..."

This is from the guy who told National Review "that the peaceful pill [a suicide pill] should be available to troubled teens."

Again, I'm more than willing to concede that Dr. Nitschke has the right to die. Let's all step aside and let him jump to the front of the queue.

Incomplete Sentences

Take a look at THIS, and then compare it to THIS. (They're both short)

Here's how I interpret what I see, in relative order:

If you're found guilty of writing threatening notes and building a fake bomb (but not actually causing physical harm to anyone) you face 73 years in prison.

If you're found guilty of impersonating a medical doctor, collecting service fees from running 6 unlicenced abortion clinics resulting in grand theft, seriously injuring at least 9 women, attempting genocide on Hispanic Americans, and killing countless babies, you face only 9 years in prison.

Yeah. We Americans sure know what justice is.

Juno, I Think They're Missing Something

After Time Magazine BROKE THE STORY last week of the 'pregnancy pact' in Gloucester, Mass, there's been a lot of talk about the 'Juno Effect'--referring to the spike in teenage pregnancy because recent movies such as 'Juno' and 'Knocked Up' glorified it. Planned Parenthood is on the warpath, and doing anything they can to undermine whatever pro-life message that might have been in these films. Mass media has picked up the torch, attacking any pro-life groups who defend the films as well as the high-school students at the center of current attention in Gloucester.

There's even a NEW REALITY SHOW ON NBC that is puts 16-19 year olds in charge of babies in order to teach them "that parenthood is a very grown-up grind."

But is that the only interpretation of the 'Juno Effect'? I think not.

To me, it's not surprising that there are 17 pregnant girls in a high school of 1200, but it is surprising that there aren't 100s more. Teenage boys and girls are humping like rabbits. And then coerced into aborting by parents and teachers when they magically conceive. And it's obvious that contraceptives aren't working, either. ACCORDING TO The Alan Guttmacher Institute, the research arm of Planned Parenthood, 54% of women who had abortions used contraceptives. 54% failure rate, and they want you to think that contraceptives are more effective than abstinence. (Actually, I think abstinence is the wrong choice of words. We should be promoting chastity of mind and body, not merely abstinence.)

At one college campus in one year, according to figures provided by Feminists for Life of America, “of 3,000 college women, 600 had pregnancy tests; 300 of these tests were positive; and 6 women had babies.” Yes. That means that half of the women tested were pregnant. 98% of them ended in either miscarriage or abortion. I'd bet maybe 1 or 2 was a miscarriage.

So back to Gloucester. We know that kids have been and are promiscuous. We know that there's been an increase in pregnancies, as the pregnancy rate for teens is up 3% nationwide in 2006, but abortions are on the decline overall. So, instead of saying that 'Juno' has put it into these teenagers' minds that they have to have to get pregnant to be cool, we should think that it has put it in their mind that it's really not cool to kill the baby should they get pregnant. I wouldn't doubt that some of the girls got pregnant to be in THE INNER RING. (If there's only one linked article you read from this blog, make it 'The Inner Ring'.) But I do doubt free contraceptives from the school would have prevented this.

Juno is not convincing kids to have more sex just to have babies. Juno is helping them see that abortion is not the only choice once they are pregnant. Now, we need to help them see that chastity is an earlier choice.

When Pathos Meets Pathetic

I hate California politics. But I hate Massachusetts politics more. At least California came up with Ronald Reagan and Judge Bill Clark.

Just when my hopes are all up that a Democrat from Massachusetts might be 'officially' mentally unstable enough to perform congressional duties, ANOTHER ONE goes and proves that there's no end to the insanity coming out of Massachusetts. And State rep. Fagan is the Chair of the House Ethics Committee. Well, maybe he's trying to be as insane as Kennedy in order to fill his shoes in the big show.

"I'm gonna rip them apart," Fagan said of young victims during his testimony on the bill. "I'm going to make sure that the rest of their life is ruined, that when they’re 8 years old, they throw up; when they’re 12 years old, they won’t sleep; when they’re 19 years old, they’ll have nightmares and they’ll never have a relationship with anybody.”

Would he be such an aggressive defense attorney if one of his own daughters were a victim of rape?

In either case, this guy has got to be removed from any kind of position of authority. There's just no amount of drunkenness that will excuse that kind of thinking.

Spanking Has an Impact on Child Development

Idiotic Canadians. Once again, they're going south fast. This time they're OUTLAWING CORPORAL PUNISHMENT, and it looks like it's going to pass, as conservatives are getting smacked down in the media. Their current law of not allowing implements to be used on children under 24 months actually makes sense, but to completely eliminate the option for parents really bums me out.

Senator Céline Hervieux-Payette deserves a nice pat on the back for suppressing parental rights of child rearing. I think she's just mad because her parents gave her such a stupid looking name. And she's Canadian.

Clearly, she's an intellectual welter wait.

Speaking of pats on the back, this is one of my favorite Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen quotes:

There is nothing that develops character in a young boy like a pat on the back, provided it is given often enough, hard enough and low enough.

But READ IT IN CONTEXT, it's even better.

I'm also fairly fond of this cartoon from 1860. It depicts Lady Columbia (early symbol of the United States of America) spanking Stephen Douglas, as Uncle Sam cheers on.

Where the Hell is Matt?

This will give you a very happy feeling. I guarantee it.

You really should go directly to youtube and see this in higher quality. It's well worth the time waiting for it to load. Just click on the video to do so. Also, check out MATT'S STORY if you're so inclined.



Seriously, if that didn't warm your heart you are either dead or had no soul to begin with.

For those of you accustomed to and expecting me to be critical, did you notice that the Americans were much wilder and independent and intentionally unchoreographed than all other peoples? The Americans were the only ones who were fighting each other for the title of being the most pre-eminently different...always seeking their 15 chronological units of fame, while Matt always deferred to other people having the foreground. I like that guy.

All Natural, Organic Sex

More and more we are being bombarded with commericals, commentaries and articles WHICH PROMOTE HEALTHY EATING. Certainly, there is a lot of wisdom in taking care of your body, and for the most part, I agree that we are putting things into our bodies in today's world of mass-produced food that are just not healthy to ingest. But the fact is that I'm not one to get overly concerned about such things.

What I do get overly concerned about is when I'm belittled for drinking Mountain Dew by chemical activists who see all the causes and biological destruction wrought by bleached sugar and flour, yet they pump their body with chemicals to prevent or destroy conception. In my albeit limited experience of life, I still find it very commonplace that those who are most adamant about not ingesting MSG are also those that are most likely using various forms of contraception, and most likely THE PILL. Really. How many people do you know who are at once public activists for healthy food and also parents of large families?

Is the vegetative soul more important than the procreative soul? Why are unnatural chemicals and hormones and barriers ok with sex, but not with eating? That's ridiculously contradictory. Would you put a diaphragm at the top of your esophagus to prevent the possibility of food getting into your stomach to inhibit digestion? Isn't taking the pill the same thing as the premeditated vomiting in BULIMIA NERVOSA? Both allow you to binge in their respective vices; gluttony and lust, and both allow you to suppress the actualization of their respective purposes; nutrition and procreation. Both allow you to recklessly partake in their respective acts: binge eating and intercourse, particularly if you have a voracious appetite for either. (Bulimia is etymologically from the Greek boulemia, which literally translates to 'the hunger of an ox'.)

Surely, repeated use of the pill and other invasive contraceptives often causes major fertility problems for those who wish to start a family, if not infertility altogether. Rather than willfully overlooking this blatant crime against our bodies, we should all enjoy organic, all natural sex without any additives or preservatives, just as nature intended.

Next week: How prolonged exposure to Hegel and Nietzsche in your intellectual diet can bring about various kinds of brain damage.