Friday, January 9, 2009

Disassociation in Communicatory Patterns of Loquacious Assholes

Put away your thesauri, sesquipedalians! There are a plethora of plethoras in your writing. At least this is ACCORDING TO Daniel Oppenheimer, a psychologist at Princeton. According to Oppenheimer, using big words actually lessens the level of intelligence portrayed in your writing. His solution: use small, simple words that everyone knows and you won't sound like an idiot.

It's tempting to pretend you know your professors' own jargon to be considered in the know, but you only succeed in convincing others you're either full of shit or don't want to actually communicate ideas. While your tenured professors are hopelessly long lost and like Gulliver's flappers can only communicate with eachother, please do not try to partake in the isolation of the audience, because you'll just become another one of those jerks that speaks a lot but doesn't say anything. As George Bernard Shaw put it: "every profession is a conspiracy against the layman".

Sorry Kant. This is reason 618 why I hate you.

If you're interested in reading the original paper by Mr. Oppenheimer on the importance of using small, easily understood words, it can be found under this very clearly stated title:
Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized Irrespective of Necessity: Problems with Using Long Words Needlessly

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